Countdown: 100 // Peace
In 100 days, I get to marry Kyle.
Um ... WHAT?!
In 100 days, I embark on a completely new adventure. One where I'll be:
- getting married in an environment near and dear to my heart — full of worship and Jesus.
- seeing many friends and family members for the last time in a while — *cue tears already*
- making the 28-hour drive (again) to Fort Myers, FL — my new home.
- changing my last name — and all that "fun" paperwork/logistic stuff.
- starting a new job — the search for one will happen eventually. *fingers crossed*
- finding a new church — which I'm super sad about and it will be, I already know, one of the most difficult adjustments.
- creating a new community — people we can do life with together in joy and love.
That's a lot and it's not even including all of the other changes that happen when you join your life with another human.
I'm someone who thrives during dramatically changing seasons and while I know it'll be crazy, I'm completely looking forward to choosing Kyle for the rest of our lives. There's a sense of absolute peace in knowing how confident we are in our decision to marry each other and understanding that no matter where we go, what we do or the events — good or bad — that are thrown at us, God's love is steadfast and He will not leave us.
His peace is powerful and my prayer is for everyone to experience it in their lives.
Since my birthday, there has been this overwhelming sense of peace in my spirit, as if I stepped into a new confidence. I don't think it necessarily has anything to do with turning 23 or getting engaged, but I do believe God is using those events to mark this season.
It's a different kind of peace that I haven't experienced before. Even with all of the change rapidly approaching, there is no fear inside of me. I feel calm, even when situations seem overwhelming. For the first time in a long time, I can recognize the moment is stressful but completely remove the anxiety I'd usually associate with it. When I feel exhausted and depleted, instead of feeling as if I should escape from the world around me, I have a desire to sit and rest in God's presence, asking Him to bring awareness of my surroundings or circumstance.
I'm eager for the 100 days to be up so I can marry my best friend and get these changes going. BUT, simultaneously, I'm captivated by the current — and uncommon — feelings of peace and patience in this time of waiting.
I'm certain Jesus is doing something beautiful through this process because I'm usually not a patient person. But who knows? Maybe it'll look good on me.